Divorce is a significant life event, and it’s natural to feel a mix of emotions, from sadness and anger to relief and hope. Knowing how to move on after a divorce can seem daunting. Try to see it as an opportunity to rediscover yourself and find true happiness.
This journey is about embracing change, prioritizing self-care, and reimagining your future. Let’s explore how to move on after a divorce by genuinely finding yourself and what brings you joy in life.
1. Embracing the emotional rollercoaster
You might feel sadness for the lost relationship, anger towards your ex-partner, relief from ending a problematic marriage, and anxiety about the future all at the same time. Accepting these emotions is the first step towards healing.
It’s okay to grieve the end of your marriage. Allow yourself time to feel and process these emotions without judgment.
2. Healing through self-discovery
Your marriage likely involved a lot of compromise and putting your partner’s needs ahead of your own. Now, you can focus on yourself and what makes you happy.
This self-discovery process can be incredibly liberating and empowering as you transition into a new phase of your life.
Activities and practices to help rediscover your passions include:
- Journaling
Writing about your thoughts and experiences can provide clarity and insight into your emotions and the desires you have for life. It’s a powerful tool for self-reflection and growth.
- Hobbies and interests
Revisit old hobbies you love or try new activities that pique your interest. Engaging in enjoyable activities can reignite your passion for life. View this phase as open exploration.
Try things you never thought you would. There may have been activities you would have passed up years ago. Now, those same things may be some of your favorites. You only know once you try. Now is the time to be bold and adventurous.
3. Building a solid support system
Having a support system is essential during this transitional period. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you to stay grounded and feel loved.
Friends and family can provide emotional support, practical help, and a sense of belonging. Remember there is no gold star for going through this alone, so allow yourself to reach out and feel the support of those who care about you.
In addition to friends and family, connecting with others going through similar experiences can be incredibly comforting. Support groups provide a safe space to share your feelings and gain valuable insights from others.
4. Prioritizing self-care and mental health
Proper self-care is crucial when going through a significant and stressful life event. Here are a few ways you can prioritize your self-care and mental health:
Creating a self-care routine
Developing a daily self-care routine ensures that you consistently take time for yourself. This could include activities like reading, taking baths, going to bed at a decent hour, and buying a super-soft blanket to cozy up to as the night winds down.
A self-care routine is highly personal. If you need help creating a routine, check out our article about how to create a self-care routine to get started.
Physical health
Everybody is different and has their own unique needs. When your body experiences a lot of outside stress, it can lead to stress inside the body. You currently may require extra care and attention because you may be under more stress than usual.
Get outside, see sunshine, eat foods that make you feel good, and stay hydrated. Listen to what your body needs. Doing some of these essential things can help you handle stress better during this life transition.
Mindfulness and relaxation techniques
It is incredibly easy to have one thought that spirals into many more, taking you out of the present moment and into the past, future, or “what if” scenarios.
Practices like meditation, deep breathing exercises, and mindfulness can help you manage stress and stay focused on the present moment. These techniques promote mental clarity and emotional stability over time and have been linked to positive brain changes that help you manage stress better long term.
5. Reimagining your future
Divorce marks the start of a new chapter in your life. Embrace the opportunity to create the future you desire. Here are two key areas to explore when redefining yourself and your future:
Setting new personal and professional goals
Think about what you want to achieve in your personal and professional life. Setting goals gives you direction and purpose. The sky is the limit.
Do you want to:
Run a marathon?
Write a book?
Get back to the gym?
Get that haircut?
Level up at your job?
Pivot careers with a new certification or degree?
Make an online portfolio to start a new job search?
Whatever you want, write it down, make an action plan, and know that you are capable of achieving your new goals.
Exploring new opportunities and experiences
As mentioned earlier, trying new things is imperative when discovering what is important to you now. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Try new activities, travel to new places, or try a new hobby. These experiences can help you grow, discover new passions, and meet like-minded people.
6. Parenting after divorce: balancing roles and responsibilities
If you have children, balancing your needs with theirs is crucial. Your mental health directly impacts your stability and happiness, and your children will feel the results of your sacrifice in this area.
Prioritizing your needs is not selfish; it is necessary.
Navigating healthy co-parenting after a divorce
Effective co-parenting requires communication, cooperation, and respect. Focus on what’s best for your children and strive to maintain a positive relationship with your ex-partner.
Even if things are tense between you and your ex, remember that you can only control how you behave and react. Decide ahead of time how you want to respond to your ex, how you want to speak and be spoken to, and the things you will and will not say around your children. This can help you when times get stressful.
Stability and support
Children need stability during and after a divorce. Keep their routines as consistent as possible and provide them with emotional support.
Reassure them that they are loved and that the divorce is not their fault. If you notice significant behavioral changes, it may be a sign of mental health difficulties. Reach out to Makin Wellness for online counselors specializing in children and teens mental health issues to help guide them through this difficult and stressful transition. Even if your child seems well-adjusted after the divorce, it may be beneficial for them to talk to a counselor to prevent issues in the future.
7. Celebrating small victories and progress
Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Recognizing your progress can boost your confidence and motivate you to keep moving forward.
Examples of post-divorce victories:
- Successfully navigating a co-parenting disagreement
- Completing a self-care routine for several days in a row
- Achieving a new personal or professional goal
It’s important to remember that healing from divorce is a journey, and there will be ups and downs. Be kind to yourself, celebrate your wins, and keep moving towards a happier and healthier you.
8. Embracing new relationships
Opening yourself up to new relationships can be a positive step when you’re ready. Perhaps now is a time you are enjoying being single. At some point, that may change. Understanding how to navigate new relationships now may help you adjust when the time comes.
Taking time before entering new relationships
It’s essential to heal and rediscover yourself before jumping into a new relationship. Give yourself the time and space to understand what you want and need, which can change what you seek in a person.
Understanding what you want in future relationships
Reflect on your past relationship and identify what worked and what didn’t. Ask your friends or family what red flags your past partners may have in common.
This honest information can help you understand any problematic relationship patterns and how to avoid them moving forward.
Navigating dating after divorce
When you feel ready, take your newfound self-awareness into the dating world. Take it slow, enjoy the process of getting to know new people, and note the red and green flags you see. You’re in control of your dating journey. Set a pace that you are comfortable with, and go with your gut.
9. The power of forgiveness and letting go
Forgiveness is a powerful tool for healing and moving on from past relationships. Letting go of past grievances you may have with your ex allows you to move forward with a positive mindset.
The importance of forgiving yourself and your ex-partner
Holding onto anger and resentment only harms you. These feelings keep you tied to a person you probably want to let go of in some way.
Forgiving your ex may feel like they get the easy way out. If you feel a sense of injustice in your divorce, you may think that your anger is your power over him. Really, it is a power over you.
Forgiving yourself is also important. You may have done things in your marriage that contributed to the divorce. Reminding yourself that you are human and bound to make mistakes or handle situations imperfectly can alleviate your perpetual guilt and suffering.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting what has happened, what led to your divorce, or what happened during your divorce; it means releasing the past’s emotional hold on you. Forgiveness paves the way for inner peace.
Techniques for letting go of past grievances
Mindfulness practices
As mentioned earlier, mindfulness helps you stay present and reduce the power of negative thoughts. There are many ways to practice mindfulness, so pick one that suits your personality. Utilizing these techniques can help you to be present, let go of the past, and allow yourself to experience what is to come.
Different mindfulness techniques include:
- Mindful breathing
Take deep breaths, and pay attention to the sensations of your breath going in and out of your body. Whenever you find negative thoughts creeping in, bring it back to focusing on your breath.
- Body scan meditation
This technique involves bringing awareness to different parts of the body one at a time, taking note of any tension or discomfort. As you move through each body part, consciously relax and release that tension.
- Grounding exercises
Grounding techniques help you stay in the present moment by using your senses. For example, you can touch an object with different textures and focus on the sounds around it.
Journaling
Writing about your feelings can help you process and release them. Use journaling as a tool to become aware of your emotions and the emotional patterns that may be repeating themselves.
Professional online support
A Makin Wellness online therapist can help you navigate the process of forgiveness and letting go of anger or resentment after a divorce. We can provide strategies and support to help you move forward in life, with your kids, and in future relationships.
Is it time to talk to an online therapist?
Divorce can be confusing and difficult to navigate. It can be tempting to work through this alone, even when you become overwhelmed. So, when is the time to talk to someone for help?
Four signs it is time to talk to an online therapist after your divorce:
- You need help getting out of bed most mornings.
- You feel anxious, irritable, and unable to be present at times.
- You are distracted and your work is suffering.
- You are struggling with your co-parenting relationship.
Talking with an online therapist can provide support and guidance as you navigate this new chapter in your life.
At Makin Wellness, our online therapists specialize in helping you heal from divorce and life transitions by providing tools and strategies for managing emotions and rebuilding your life.
Your online therapist will provide a safe space to explore your feelings and develop coping strategies. Your online therapist can offer support, guidance, and coping tools to help you heal.
Conclusion
Moving on after a divorce is a challenging yet empowering journey. This process is easier when you reach out to your support system. Connecting with those you love can remind you of who you are and your inherent value. Embrace the future with optimism and hope, knowing that happiness and fulfillment are within your reach.
How to get started with online therapy
Starting therapy with Makin Wellness is simple with two main options.
- Call us at (833)-274-heal to schedule your initial visit and start your healing journey.
- Browse our online therapists to find a therapist who specializes in the area that you need most. Then, schedule an appointment. Online therapy with Makin Wellness gives you the flexibility and convenience you need during this stressful time.
How to move on after a divorce? Redefine yourself, lean into your support system, and prioritize your mental health. Life can be good again, and we are here whenever you are ready.
