What does it mean to gaslight someone?
If you’ve ever felt like someone was making you question your reality, that person may be a gaslighter.
So, what does it mean to gaslight someone?
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation used to make a person doubt their perceptions, feelings, and even sanity. It’s a powerful tactic that’s unfortunately common in abusive relationships and other manipulative dynamics. Gaslighting can occur in romantic partnerships, family relationships, friendships, and workplaces.
Understanding gaslighting is essential to recognizing it and taking steps to protect your mental health. If you’re struggling with this kind of emotional manipulation, know that help is available, and you don’t have to face this alone.
This article will explain what it means to gaslight someone, why this tactic is used, what it feels like to be gaslit, and more.
Why would someone gaslight you?
People often gaslight others to gain control in a relationship or situation. By making you question your perceptions, a gaslighter can keep you off-balance and doubting yourself. This makes it easier for them to influence your thoughts and actions, often in ways that benefit them.
A few reasons why someone might gaslight you:
- Power and control: By making you feel unsure, they can assert control and maintain power in the relationship.
- Avoiding responsibility: Gaslighting allows them to deny their actions or shift blame onto you so they don’t have to face the consequences.
- Ego boost: Some gaslighters enjoy the sense of superiority from manipulating others.
- Maintaining a narrative: Gaslighters often rewrite reality to fit their narrative, dismissing facts and perspectives that challenge their view.
This manipulation can feel incredibly isolating. Recognizing it for what it is can be the first step toward reclaiming your confidence and clarity.
Ten common phrases used by gaslighters
If you’re wondering whether you’re experiencing gaslighting, these examples might illuminate the situation. Here are ten common ways people gaslight others:
- “You’re overreacting.” This phrase invalidates your feelings and makes you question whether you’re justified in feeling hurt or upset.
- “That never happened.” Denying your version of events, even if you remember them clearly, can make you question your memory.
- “You’re too sensitive.” Dismissing your emotions as sensitivity implies that your feelings are the problem, not their actions.
- “Everyone thinks you’re crazy.” Suggesting that others view you negatively can make you feel isolated and paranoid.
- “You’re imagining things.” By saying this, they imply that your perceptions are wrong and unreliable.
- “I never said that.” Flat-out denying things they previously stated can cause you to question your memory.
- “Stop being so dramatic.” Minimizing your reaction to their behavior invalidates your response and makes you feel that your emotions are unreasonable.
- “You’re just trying to start a fight.” Shifting blame onto you discourages you from addressing genuine concerns.
- “No one else would put up with you.” Undermining your self-worth makes you feel dependent on the gaslighter, trapping you in the relationship.
- “You have trust issues.” Turning the tables by accusing you of problems they created can make you doubt your ability to trust yourself and others.
These examples illustrate how gaslighting works subtly yet powerfully, slowly eroding your confidence, perspective, and trust in yourself.
What gaslighting can do to your mental health
The effects of gaslighting are real, and they can be devastating. Gaslighting often leads to a range of mental health issues, as the constant questioning of reality takes a toll on your mental state.
Examples of what gaslighting can do to your mental health include:
- Increased anxiety and stress: Constantly questioning yourself and worrying about being “wrong” can create persistent anxiety.
- Low self-esteem: When repeatedly told your feelings are wrong, it’s easy to internalize these beliefs and doubt your self-worth.
- Depression: Feeling isolated, unsupported, or hopeless is common for people experiencing prolonged gaslighting.
- Difficulty making decisions: Doubting your judgment can make decision-making feel paralyzing.
- Emotional exhaustion: The mental gymnastics of gaslighting are exhausting, leaving you feeling drained and disconnected.
- Loss of sense of self: Over time, you may start feeling like you don’t know who you are, struggling to hold onto your values, needs, or perspective.
Understanding these impacts can empower you to recognize the harm gaslighting causes and give yourself permission to seek a trusted online counselor and protect your mental health.
How to respond if you're being gaslit
Responding to gaslighting can be challenging, especially if the gaslighter is someone close to you. Here are some strategies to protect yourself and address the situation:
- Trust your feelings: Your emotions and perceptions are valid. Remind yourself that your feelings matter and deserve to be acknowledged.
- Keep a record: Write down events or conversations as they happen. This record can serve as a reminder of what occurred and give you more clarity in moments of doubt.
- Set boundaries: Establishing boundaries with the person gaslighting you can help you protect your mental space.
- Seek outside perspective: Talking to a friend, family member, or online therapist can provide clarity and support. Hearing an external perspective can help validate your experience.
- Stay calm and grounded: When dealing with facing a gaslighter, staying calm and connected to your truth can help prevent you from reacting emotionally in ways they might use against you.
- Limit your exposure: If possible, reduce your interactions with the person gaslighting you to minimize the impact of their words and actions.
These steps can empower you to reclaim your sense of self and maintain a more objective perspective, despite the emotional manipulation of gaslighting.
What to do if you're in an abusive relationship
If you believe that gaslighting is part of an abusive relationship, there are resources available to help you. Abuse is never acceptable, and if you’re feeling unsafe, there are ways to reach out for help.
Resources for immediate help in the United States:
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 1-800-799-7233 or text “START” to 88788 for free, confidential support available 24/7.
- Crisis Text Line: Text “HELLO” to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor for immediate support.
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call 988 for support if you’re experiencing thoughts of self-harm or hopelessness.
- RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): Call 1-800-656-HOPE for help and resources if you’re experiencing sexual abuse.
These organizations provide immediate support and can help connect you with further resources to get you the help you need. Remember, there is no shame in reaching out, and your safety and mental wellness are top priorities.
How Makin Wellness can support help you
If you’re experiencing gaslighting, healing, and reclaiming your confidence may feel difficult alone. Online therapy at Makin Wellness can support you in processing your experiences, rebuilding your self-worth, and navigating complex emotions tied to gaslighting.
With your online therapist, you can gain tools to protect yourself from gaslighting, learn to trust yourself again and develop healthy boundaries. Whether you’re struggling with emotional manipulation, relationship challenges, or low self-esteem, a Makin Wellness counselor can provide the compassionate guidance you need on your journey to emotional health and strength.
Conclusion:
Gaslighting is a profoundly harmful form of manipulation that can take a toll on your mental health, confidence, and relationships. Understanding what it means to gaslight someone is the first step in recognizing and protecting yourself from this behavior.
While gaslighting can be disorienting and emotionally exhausting, remember that your experiences, perceptions, and feelings are valid. You deserve relationships built on trust, respect, and understanding.
If you’re ready to take steps toward recovery, remember that support is available. Whether you seek help from a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional, reclaiming your reality and protecting your mental health is a journey you don’t have to face alone.
Want guidance in your mental health journey? Call us at (833)-274-heal or start here to schedule an appointment with a Makin Wellness online therapist who can help.
